Rabu, 31 Desember 2014

Fontoon (Dedalus Europe), by John Schoneboom

Fontoon (Dedalus Europe), by John Schoneboom

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Fontoon (Dedalus Europe), by John Schoneboom

Fontoon (Dedalus Europe), by John Schoneboom



Fontoon (Dedalus Europe), by John Schoneboom

Download Ebook Online Fontoon (Dedalus Europe), by John Schoneboom

Fontoon is an archetypal Dedalus novel: absurdly funny, erudite, grotesquely surreal, and totally unique. At the edge of the city, Admiral Fontoon tends the lighthouse at Wossafocken Point and dreams of being a famous poet. His odds are poor, as he spends far more time lost in thoughts about exactly how big Jupiter must be than writing actual poetry. He is also constantly undermined by the Fontoon Wrecking Company — a secret organisation dedicated entirely to his personal humiliation. Nevertheless his dream comes true when a top spotter of poetic dispositions helps him to become an enormously influential media person. Fontoon’s inspiring words begin to solve the world’s biggest problems, until his weirdest and most disgusting personal idiosyncrasy is publicly exposed.

Fontoon (Dedalus Europe), by John Schoneboom

  • Amazon Sales Rank: #3088614 in Books
  • Brand: Schoneboom, John
  • Published on: 2015-03-31
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 7.25" h x 1.00" w x 5.75" l, .55 pounds
  • Binding: Paperback
  • 294 pages
Fontoon (Dedalus Europe), by John Schoneboom

Review "A comic tour de force." -- David Whetstone, The Journal

About the Author John Schoneboom is a New Yorker who now lives in Newcastle Upon Tyne. He has studied international affairs, played the funky bass guitar, sold ice cream from a van, sneaked into numerous venues, and foiled a purse snatching. His play Dreams of Jimmy Bannon won the Artists Fellowship Award from the Massachusetts Cultural Council. Fontoon is his first novel.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. Chapter Hang I am not, nor will I ever be, a morning person, mused Admiral Fontoon, subliminally noting that it was perhaps the only thing of which he felt truly certain. He winced and made a sucking sound through his clenched teeth as he gingerly touched the bump that had risen on his head. He was hanging upside down, swaying gently now after swinging wildly for some time. His arms hung limply in mute surrender. One leg extended to the side and bent like a branch that did not know where to grow, drifting half-heartedly, searching to no avail for a plausible position in which to await death or redemption. The one straight and rigid limb was his other leg, which had a tightened noose around the ankle. From there the rope looped through a pulley attached to the ceiling, and routed thence to a spinning spool at the foot of his bed, anchored firmly to the floor with steel bolts. It was the furious spinning of the spool that had yanked the rope so suddenly, resulting in the tightening of the ankle noose and the unceremonious hoisting of Admiral Fontoon. The entire apparatus had been triggered electronically by Fontoon’s alarm clock; more specifically, it had been triggered by the seventh sounding of the snooze alarm, a result, in turn, of Fontoon’s obstinacy, and of his lethargy. Son of a bitch, thought Fontoon, dangling. He was supposed to have gotten out of bed before all this. That was the whole idea: A clock to inspire fear, ergo motion. Fontoon spoke several profanities aloud to his uncaring apartment, and punched the air viciously, which caused him to spin. He felt the lurch of nausea and struggled to control it. He did not think he could bear either the sound or the sight of his vomit hurtling out of his mouth and splashing onto various of his possessions some nine feet below, and he especially did not relish the thought of cleaning it all up. Agh, or the taste of it, he thought, which only made it harder to control. Admiral Fontoon looked around the room while the spinning gradually subsided, trying to get a fix on something for as long as he could, to combat the dizziness. Directly below him was an imitation Oriental rug that had caused bitterness at how quickly it had begun to look dingy. Must everything be cheap? Must everything be tawdry?


Fontoon (Dedalus Europe), by John Schoneboom

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Most helpful customer reviews

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful. What fun this book is! I laughed out loud. A lot. By SU What a genuine, unexpected delight this book is. The author's creativity, keen intelligence, and sense of humor (and, sense of the absurd) shine through. His ability to convey his characters' thoughts and reactions (which are often the exact opposite from what they say aloud) are unusually insightful. His powerful life observations and take on human foibles are presented in charming, funny stories and characters. I love any book that makes me laugh out loud, and this one often did. Highly recommended for Schoneboom's original, funny, insightful take on life.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful. Neither cheap nor tawdry. By Jaz-Michael King Hilarious. Absurd. Surreal. Comedy sci-fi? Imagine the delightfully clever Goon Show as written by a poetically precise Douglas Adams, all at once mocking and revering the egos and stereotypes exactingly analysed while performing a scissor-sharp bit of social commentary to boot. This book will lift your wibblies.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful. Whacky, wild, imaginative, humorous By Sankarson Banerjee I loved the cast of characters, the non-sequiturs popping up everywhere, hilarious interactions and some pointed satire. Very David Foster Wallace or John Kennedy TooleI did miss the larger and deeper statement on the human condition that moves David Foster Wallace from great read to great literature. This remains at the level of a great read

See all 5 customer reviews... Fontoon (Dedalus Europe), by John Schoneboom


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Fontoon (Dedalus Europe), by John Schoneboom

Fontoon (Dedalus Europe), by John Schoneboom

Fontoon (Dedalus Europe), by John Schoneboom
Fontoon (Dedalus Europe), by John Schoneboom

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